Home is a feeling - hej då Stockholm

I’m once again sitting in an almost empty apartment in Stockholm— a sharp flashback to July 2023. When the sun shines in this city, it feels like it’s bowing down to greet you. But today, Stockholm is bowing down to say goodbye.

Stockholm gave me a home when I needed to be far from everything I knew, when I needed to be with people who truly appreciated me. This place brought me back from a power failure and has shaped me into yet another version of the girl I’ve been getting to know for almost four decades.

Last night, I slept on the sofa — tipsy, restless, my head full of thoughts but my heart completely empty. It’s hard to get emotional when you’ve processed 38 years' worth of feelings, and every time life seemed to be ending, there was always a tomorrow. I vividly remember July 2023. I was convinced I had to move to Stockholm because the stars had aligned to make it happen. I believed in a higher power that brought me here, but today, I’m sitting alone, wondering why my feelings for this city and this apartment aren’t more powerful. It’s not the things I’ve done that are rushing back to me, no—it’s everything that hasn’t happened.

I’m eager to understand why the past 1,5 years unfolded the way they did - but until then, I’ll see you guys back ‘home’. Hej då Stockholm.